Loving Zorn - Laurann Dohner Actually, that's more of a 2.75 but close enough. Yeah; I'm not loving Zorn.

This was actually a twofer.

So Encino Man meets Chewbacca and this is their love child. A somewhat scruffily overgrown dork who speaks trollish (errr, lots of grunts and growls - like a lot of human males, although they can speak English every now and then)

I was sortof Ok with Ral's Woman. The H was not directly responsible for the h's kidnapping, so the decidedly uneven relationship didn't bother me, particularly since she was a prize awarded him by his captors. There were some things that annoyed me a bit - the Zorn escaped, yet refused to even consider taking the various non-Zorn females to their own worlds. The h was upset by this but apparently the magic pen cures all.

Kidnapping Casey though, manages to hit every rude annoyance with culture clash in the romance genre. First off, I absolutely loath it when heroines get tricked/conned/whatever into what passes for marriage by virtue of them NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING ON. Second, when a chick is scared and says no, leave her alone! Especially if your not leaving her alone leads to tripping the first annoyance. So having escaped the accusation of rape by virtue of really good foreplay, he marries her by failure to pull out (uh Huh. Right). His excuse - humans are irresistible. Then he kidnaps her. Oh. Right. He can't actually TALK to her (growls a lot) to explain that he just married her without her knowledge. She figures it out at some point and really gets bent. Thus coming to my third annoyance. You know, if I'm not in the mood, watching my man have a date with Rosie isn't going to override that.

Oh. It gets better. He has 3 house helpers (house helper is a euphemism for concubine, btw). Heroine finds out and goes through second sulk. Once again, the magic pen cures all, even the fact that he'd rehomed the 3 (like they were no longer wanted pets. Wow.).

I feel bad for the Zorn women. Really. A human female walks by and suddenly all the neanderthals forget their own, start plotting to rehome any they're responsible (I keep wondering if there's a Zorn animal shelter for stray women).