Book Hoarders Anonymous

I have too many books. There, I admit it. I'm working on it though.

Immortal Born

Hmmm... well, other than the apparent ditching of the family tree (it's not on her website anymore and here we have an error). I mean; last I read, Etienne was Victor's nephew and here it's stated that they're brothers.


And oh, DJ spoke perfectly normal English when we met him so why would he need to learn to use contractions? He's just a bit over a century; not a millennium.


And the whole hymen discussion happened a while back, and it was said that no; it wouldn't grow back. Now they're saying that if the newly opened door isn't held open for half an hour or so, it'll grow back?!


Trivial stuff I know, but details tend to bug me a lot.


So our H, who I don't recall meeting in Scotty's book - did I miss something? Is flying into Canada because Marguerite has found him a lifemate...or something. Only, he's gotta rescue her since she's in the ER. Now, I must ponder why Marguerite left the girl to flounder 'til she could import her a mate instead of getting more immediate help. But we're supposed to run with it so... the H goes to rescue her from the hospital along with someone else we're supposed to know but I have no idea who this person is. (note that I've read all of the previous books as soon as they came out once she settled with Avon publishing). So...they go. Only, the h knows what an immortal is so runs. Not far mind you. She goes home to fetch her bags and the kid, only to run into rogues.


Much drama later (this one was v. light on the humor - good since so many of the later books drift into stewpid, but I started this series because it was funny), the h is turned, kidnapped, rescued - sort of, and we have a HEA. Bonus - a loose end from Basha's old life is taken care of.


I mean; if you were just reading this one, having never read any of the others, it's a pretty decent read. I'd almost say you'd be lost though but maybe not as there doesn't seem to be that much connection to the rest.

Hilariously Ever After

*too tired to fool with adding this one by the complicated means but it's an anthology sold by Amazon


Sigh... I got this based on a group thinking it was the greatest thing since sliced bread and well, it was free. All of the heroines were young, and in most cases, immature. Most were first person, and after reading half a dozen first person present tales, I started mentally narrating my day like that.

So ok, let’s start at the top.
Truth or Beard. Heroine has wanderlust. She studied to become a teacher, and is living at home while teaching for the express purpose of paying off student loans. I guess the obvious question is why did you waste 4 years to educate yourself if you plan to spend your life living for the next adventure? H is reluctant to get involved because she’s going to leave. Note that he doesn’t actually have anything keeping him from going with her. Added drama involving a local motorcycle gang clutters up the story. If you blinked, you missed the clue as to who her real father is.

Pucked. Heroine spent the entire book looking for excuses to bail on the H. Also, it’s not nearly as entertaining as the movie by the same name

Wrong. Kinda creepy really. The H is an endocrinologist who volunteers at the student clinic to provide birth control, etc. The h is a student. Granted, she’s 6 months from graduating but... I think what bothered me the way he talked to her, and while it wasn’t BDSM strictly speaking, he was very controlling.

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Fiancée. Funny in a slapstick manner.

Sweet on the Greek. H is recently retired soccer..oh, excuse me, football player. It’s suggested that he’s Bi. I got less of an impression that he was bi than that he wasn’t particular. Heroine is a tattoo artist, possibly goth, and has issues. He pays her to be his mean girlfriend to discourage those who won’t take a hint. He has other intentions and eventually he says as much. She bolts, though eventually they get back together.

Miss Fix-it. The most mature h in the bunch. She’s a carpenter and takes on the job of doing some remodeling of his kids’ bedrooms. This one I actually liked.

Screw mates. Well I mean, it’s funny but the h is a self-absorbed socially awkward twit. She starts a comic based on her and the H’s attempts to move past mere roommate status, doesn’t even change their names, and is stunned that he’s upset when he finds out.

Most Eligible Billionaire. Angsty. Very angsty. Heroine finds herself the guardian of a dog who inherited controlling shares of a huge construction company and the late owner’s son is pissed... actually, everyone is. They conspire to screw with her. Unfortunately a) son falls for her, and b) the dirt they think they dug up on her turns out to be a would-be rapist whose family managed to buy his way out of jail. So...

Remedial Rocket Science. It wasn’t quite slapstick, but...yeah. As you find out, he was seeing a girl at the time he and the h hooked up. At the time the book starts, he’s seeing the old girlfriend’s sister. His best friend is engaged to the old girlfriend, and well... Over the course of the book, the sister breaks it off because she’s not really into guys in the first place, and well... H and h do finally get together for real.

The Blacksmith Queen (The Scarred Earth Saga #1) - G.A. Aiken

I'm not sure what I was expecting really. This isn't nearly as zany as the dragons. It's still got that offbeat sense of humor, but is fairly serious. Then again, the h isn't slightly insane either. Instead, she's immensely practical.


The H is...well, he's said to be antisocial but he seems to have fallen under her spell quickly.


It's also less romance and more fantasy. The world building is more of a expansion as it is set in the same world as the dragon series. Which brings up the dragons. They run into a dragon held captive by wood elves. They free him, and are surprised that he talks. He takes out the elves - which had sided with the h's sister - and burrows off. I sort of wonder if we'll see him again. The sister has delusions that "the mad queen" is insane and will be easy to take out. Uh... Anwyl? Easy to take out? Hahahah! That confrontation would be amusing I think.

In a Badger Way (Honey Badger Chronicles #2) -  Shelly Laurenston

I was...relieved i think...that there wasn't nearly as much of the beating up of old friends. That said, there were a lot of threats that i didn't care for, and some things that were never explained. Like, why did Max kill the uncle?


The H/h were cute, although Stevie's neurosis was a bit irritating, and Shen's "I'm not your boyfriend" bit went on too long.


The side characters though... It's been a while since I read the earlier books, and while I remember *some* of the characters, it seems like there was a veritable parade of heroines past. I don't remember Kyle's parents at all. Perhaps at some point, a reread is needed.

Trick or Treat - Jan Springer, Tawny Taylor, Charlene Teglia, N.J. Walters

I confess. Anthologies usually start at a 3. It's up to the individual stories/authors to change that. Being that this is a theme anthology, one expects a bit of cheese. Being that it's an EC theme anthology, that's likely cream cheese...




Tale the first isn't bad if you get past the TSTL of the heroine. I mean; she wants to get nailed by her hot boss (fair enough), and sets out to do so at the halloween masquerade party at his bar (well, ok), with the intent of leaving afterwards with her anonymity still intact (ummmm). She figures he'd never look at her otherwise so she gets tarted up (yeah?), shows up, catches his eye right off the bat (still with you), stays after closing for the "special party" of two with him (mmmhmmm?), and tries to leave. She's astounded when he asks her where she's going, and calls her by name. I mean really hon. How many nearly 6' statuesque redheads do you think he knows?


Tale the a mixed up fairy tale. Ella Cinder is a living cliche. Her late father married a woman with two unattractive, rather bitchy daughters, promptly keeled over, and she has an office in the basement of their prestigious GYN hospital/office. She has the hots for the new Dr who is exceedingly hot for a OB/GYN. By nights, she has an adult production company that puts on a private showing of a decidedly mature Cinderella, named Sinderella. She's doing a show, Prince Charming fails to show, and Dr McHotty is in the audience. She puts forth the offer for him to act as a substitute. He's happy to follow through... and he also figures out who she is. Really hon, you talk to him daily. You don't think he'd recognize your voice?


Tale the third is actually pretty good - if you ignore that the h ends up mated to a total stranger without any knowledge of how that happened (or that it was even a possiblity). She's a werewolf, and not by choice. She's after the rogue who turned her, and assumes that the H is him. Fortunately for her, he isn't. He assumes at first that she's in with the rogue. She's not. They do conveniently find the rogue - or rather, his pack does - and he's taken out.


Tale the third...ehhhh that's a no for me. The h is kidnapped on halloween by a couple of weirdos. She wakes up naked and tied to a bed, listening to an argument about her, and well, the third weirdo is absolutely convinced she's his wife (I have no recollection of that event...). She...puts out? Well, not like she has a choice, being as how she's tied up, but she doesn't protest too hard. Later she finds out - from someone called the Wise One - that somehow she ended up in an alternate dimension thanks to him, has a zillion clones of her, also thanks to him (because he had the hots for her), and someone wants her dead, because for reasons never clarified, she killed the previous Goddess, and to protect her, she was sent back. Oh, and she is married apparently but her memories were wiped. A scant day(?) later a former boyfriend of hers tries to kill her, and she wakes up naked in her own bed. There's a knock at the door and the guy claiming to be her husband in the other dimension is there. I dunno. The whole thing leaves too many holes in the story itself (what, why, how, huh???), a h who caves way too readily to someone she has no memory of, and a lot of BDSM type sex without the h actually agreeing to any of it.


I think I need some whine with that cheese.

Dragons Prefer Blondes - Candace Havens

Another random rock forcibly ejected from the Hills of Why. I suspect that I know the why of it's being there, but it's false advertising IMO.


Based on the title and classification - paranormal romance, you'd assume this is a shifter romance. Bzzzt. Wrong. It's more like Buffy the dragon slayer if you know, Buffy was a society chick. As for the romance? Meh; more of a side note. I mean; if it were advertised as paranormal chick lit, I'd be ok with that (whether i'd buy it or not is another story as I generally avoid chick lit).


And now the meat of the story. Our h is a born dragon slayer or...something. She and her sisters are referred to as Guardians and have affinities for whatever varmint they're supposed to defend humanity from. The current leader of the dragons wishes to claim her as his mate, not because he actually likes her, but because the dragon he is seriously attracted to is up to something and he doesn't trust her. So the h tells him she's involved with someone, then asks the security head if he'll pose as her SO.


That's the basic setup. Most of the book, the h is getting into fights with dragons, and needing to be healed, while the H (security guy) is getting increasingly fretful about her nearly getting herself killed every other day. They finally get busy in between incidents, then she is challenged to a fight by the female dragon, wins, but is nearly killed by poison, and he decides he can't live with this, so tells her it's over. I mean; this is like 2 chapters from the end of the book. Until 2 chapters previous, they were still in pretend mode, but only sortof since they never had to be out in public to do so. So...romance? Really? Where? Of course, he shows up at her bestie's wedding - in the last chapter - and confesses that after much thought, he can't live without her.


Ya know, I think I'd have liked this better if the romance was completely left out. It seems gratuitously tacked on to keep it from being labeled as chick lit.

The Savage King: A Dragon Lords Story (Lords of the Var Book 1) - Michelle M. Pillow

Hmm... while book 2 was a lot of fun, book 1 is a bit more serious, and more than a little frustrating.


The h is an agent with the HIA, and is undercover. The H's dad and his party stumble across her reporting in, and she's kidnapped and tossed into his harem. Fortunately, daddy douchebag is on his last raid when he finds her and is killed shortly thereafter. The H...inherits said harem along with other duties. Heroine manages to slip out, and is caught by him. He tosses her in his home and leaves her to sleep off whatever she'd drank.


She gets out later, gets caught by one of his brothers, and tells him she's the H's. Brother ties her to his bed. He comes back with one of the harem women only to find his bed occupied. And so on...


Unfortunately, she's undercover and can't tell him. Also unfortunately, he's trying to live up to dear old dad's standards of not committing to one woman. Much of the book is spent in an uneasy truce with sex. After she's given her communicator back, she calls her boss and delivers the message in code. Her boss tells her wait there's more, also in code. She manages to escape for real by hacking into the mainframe and erasing herself.


Eventually she makes it to the enemy where the bad guy's daughter is the wife of one of them, and much conversation later, they find the bioweapon, her work is done, and dumba...errr...the H finally admits he loves her and wants to keep her.

The Playful Prince -  M. Pillow, Michelle

Oh now this is more like it - offbeat humor...and now I gotta hunt the rest. But wait - book 1 is on my kindle (thank you amazon for the occasional freebies).


So the h is preparing for her vacation when she's interrupted with the news that Human Intelligence Agency requires her services. It's an offer she can't refuse - do the job and get paid vs refuse to do the job, do it anyway, and not get paid. She's sent to the planet, and finds herself attracting the attention of one of the princes. Over the course of the book, she and he have a rollicking good time...intermingled with misunderstandings (one of the other scientists is her brother. Somehow Prince Charming manages to miss that), and an investigation on something she notices that turns out to be a biological weapon.


The a flirt. I can kinda understand why she didn't take him seriously, particularly when he seemed to not take himself too seriously either. I mean; when is the last time you read a book where the H married the h without her knowledge? It happens from time to time in futuristics BUT... I've never read where the H married the h without realizing it himself too. Clueless. LOL! He thought he was broken because a random harem girl couldn't get things to work. Uh no; it's because he mated the h. I would have liked to see another paragraph added to that scene, reflecting his reaction when his brother explained what his problem was.

The Starlight Rite - Cherise Sinclair

Under the heading of "books I have no idea why I bought them" comes this - a love story with a side order of Stockholms. I mean; I guess that it's believable given the apparent chemistry and feels but you know, if I'd been aware that the h spends the better part of the book as a sex slave, I don't believe I would have bought it.


So our h is in a pickle. Her husband paid a couple of what passes for local law enforcement to kill her. Only, the ship she was flying on was a former smuggler's ship, and the captain had clued her in on the smuggler's hatch. So she was able to escape the assassination attempt. Now she's hiding, and through what seems to me to be a massive oversight on the part of the smuggler/captain, broke (what? No bag of coins stashed in there for emergency?). She attempts to rob what looks to be a cripple only to find herself face to face with the leader of the local law enforcement. Punishment for robbery plus managing to cause his injury to flair up is a total that equals 38 days of indentured servitude. Since she has no marketable skills, that translates to sex slave. He buys her. I mean; she could have ended up in a brothel...


Over the course of a week or so, there's a discussion about rape in which he informs her that sex slaves can't say no, much sex, a couple of escape attempts - all following seeing something about her apparent death on the news. That last one was a doozy - he was having lunch with her husband *and* the two killers. So she has a damn good reason for not telling him who she is.


And of course, there's the starlight rite - a planetary orgy. She got him to take her to the place his clan would partake in the ritual, then tried to escape. She's caned, and gets to participate in the ritual whether she wants to or not.


After he has her sent back to the indenture hall for resell, he gets around to doing some serious investigating, manages to find the video was altered, find footage of her leaving the terminal, etc. Meanwhile, he's also inadvertently let her husband know she's alive and where she is, so when he figures out what's what, there's the mad rush to save her.


Things that bugged me:
The setup obviously
The lack of emergency funds - you'd think a smuggler might hide something as backup
The rite taking place at the clan one of the killers belonged to (yet he apparently was a no show. Hmmm)
A professional singer (the h is famous) that has never performed publicly, and in fact, nobody knows what she looks like. I mean; I can't imagine that being pulled off *today* and this book is set in the future. Nobody took a snapshot of her at a studio or something? Eh? This conveniently to explain why she was not recognized by anyone until she sang in an attempt to cause a distraction when her husband was trying to drag her off planet.

Delicious - Jami Alden

The problem really with this book is it tried to do All The Things and managed to do none of them particularly well. :/ It was confused. It couldn't decide if it wanted to be one of those somewhat sappy contemporary romances with a spatula sketched on the cover, a romantic suspense, or...well, it CLAIMs it's a hot book but... seems to be a quantity vs quality issue and the only really steamy scene wasn't even with the H/h.


So the heroine is a Pollyanna type who is all smiles and cheeriness. Prior to the breakup, her ex (a chef) had her as a guest while attempting to secure himself a TV show. They were more impressed with Ms Personality than Mr Ego. The trouble with all this is that she manages to come across as a ditz. She's attracted a stalker and only gets a bodyguard at her sister's insistence. Since she only rarely seems concerned about her stalker, the bodyguard decides (after a half-assed investigation) that it's a publicity stunt.


The H is that bodyguard. He and the h had met 18 months prior while both were drowning their sorrows - him because he'd gotten involved with a celebrity client and managed to get himself fired, and her because Mr Ego dumped her. So when he arrives at her apartment and discovers who his would be client is, he tries to be all professional. He's just not very good at it. I mean really; he decides potential stalkers are safe based on interviews. No background checks, no delving into their past, nothing. Translation, he missed the creep that was right under his nose. Even better, since nobody else thought the creep was a threat (not that they had the means to investigate), the creep had access to the h's apartment, her computer, etc. And after the H has decided (based on v. little investigation really) that the h is faking it, he goes off on her, then wonders a few weeks later (after she rescued herself really) why she won't answer his emails, phone calls, etc.


Sister is shallow and self-absorbed. She blithely lets creep into the apartment, lets him see the code *and* the password on the computer. She also is the star in the only really drawn out sex scene in the book (the rest are almost quickies with dirty words thrown in to claim hotness).


The creep is a producer. Everyone assumes he's gay. Nobody actually investigates him. Guess who is decidedly hetero and has a "thing" for BDSM.

Laced with Desire - Denise Rossetti, Jasmine Haynes, Joey W. Hill, Jaci Burton

Alrighty then...


Tale the first: set-up made me bristle quite a bit. H and h's late husband were both friends and business rivals. H's secretary was h's best friend. After the death of her husband, h had taken over the company. Construction apparently pays well - the h's secretary owned a condo in HI (not time share, which I might have believed, but outright), so does H. Heroine takes secretary up on offer to use condo for a week, with every intention of getting laid. Secretary lets H know, so he can stay at his condo the same week. H "rescues" h from some guy who is reluctant to understand "no", then asks h why she is really there. Apparently the thought of "I wasn't aware I needed to clear a vacation with you" never crosses her mind - she tells him she's there to get laid. H/h hook up, then afterwards, it's back to business as usual(?!). I mean; beyond the improbability of a mere secretary owning a condo in HI - while working in Tulsa, there's the notion that the h has to have approval from her competitor to take a vacation.


Tale the second. Rather poignant. Heroine is a 40-something former supermodel who trusted the wrong guy 20 years ago. His selling lewd pics of her to tabloids didn't have any affect on her career BUT...her dad was a minister. Uh oh. She's pretty much kept everyone at arm's length ever since. She's having surgery in a few days because a tumor (or polyp) was found in/on her uterus. The boss has feelings for her and after she breaks down following a business meeting, he seizes the opportunity. In this case, he offers to fulfull a fantasy for her - a threesome - and keeps her distracted up until surgery and hangs around afterward. The tumor/polyp is benign fortunately, and the H refuses to let her go.


Tale the third. So a guy walks into a fetish bar, picks up a sub, and fulfills her fantasy... Then she's gravely injured in Iraq, while he's in Afghanistan. He finds out about her injuries, and goes after her. She's now blind and nearly deaf. And a good deal of the story is his form of psychotherapy. Hmmm. I mean; I suppose snapping out orders might get a soldier up out of the easy chair but... Or maybe it's that he takes her to a club - a crowded club - 48 hours after dragging her from the easy chair she'd been moping in for close to a year. You'd think the sensory overload would leave her in a crumpled heap on the floor. Just a little weirded out by that one.


Tale the third. Odd fantasy where the language is crude earth but there are 2 moons. Hero is high ranking soldier. Heroine is slave. She's owned by an ambassador to a rival nation. There's intrigue, sex (obviously), a blocked assassination attempt, a faked death, etc. What little world building there is, is interesting.

Hunter's Salvation - Shiloh Walker

I was amused at the name: Vax is a character in a D&D game i watch on youtube, only *that* Vax is a half-elf rogue assassin paladin. Both Vaxes though have one thing in common - they exhibit TSTL behavior. In this case, the heroine called it; Vax is a stupid jerk.


The h is an investigative reporter with telekinetic abilities. She noted something suspicious about a series of rape/murders and started poking her nose in. She got too close and one of them grabbed her little sister, killed her. Now she's on a mission and she doesn't care if she survives it as long as the bad guys go down.


Vax, introduced a few books ago, is a witch. He's also a retired Hunter because reasons, and he's been wearing that hair shirt for nearly 100 years. He gets the Call, and goes to investigate.


He manages to rescue her, they do some discussing, the bad guys send a mutant after her, he rescues her again, while capturing the mutant. They take said mutant to other Hunters...and here's where it starts to get shaky. If there's one, there's bound to be others. They have names. They know there's a vampire involved. They go back to finish it without anyone coming along as aid (why?) his restocking (or stocking up as the case may be) the silver nitrate, etc. Then they find the lab, go down there, have a confrontation, and run. He manages to get beneath her shields (finally), knocking her out, and goes back after them, alone. He also sends a message to the Hunters he'd talked to before. SOMEhow, he survives it, but the vampire manages to give him something that destroys his powers, and the female witch (whose book I haven'd read, because I don't have it) senses it, but doesn't try to extract it.


Actually, considering they both were flyers, I don't get why she didn't poof them both out and work on him outside. I don't get a lot of things though, like if he was able to explode the vampire, why he didn't do that in the first place? And if the h had a gun loaded with silver bullets, why the hell didn't she shoot? And if he was a flyer, why didn't he poof behind the various mutants and slash them with his fancy silver knife? There's a hell of a lot that does NOT make sense in this one. It's like the abilities were ignored to draw the book out.


Now for the "romance" bit. He tells the h upfront that he's not into relationships. She tells him she doesn't do casual and pushes him away. Eventually though, they end up horizontal. He picks up on her lack of a will to live and yet... after everything goes down (and they both miraculously survive it), he's an insensitive jerk, telling her to go get herself a life. I kinda wonder how he'd have felt if, when he went back to apologize, he'd found she'd offed herself. She didn't though. She was pissed off, and punched him at least once. I thought perhaps she should have used her powers and shoved him out a window, or whacked him upside the head with a lamp.

Hunting the Hunter (The Hunters, Book 9) - Shiloh Walker

Beyond the prose which at times was eyeroll inducing - an orgasm clawing it's way out? What was it - part Alien?! The switch to mainstream publishing seems to have been a good thing for this author. There's an actual plot, some action that isn't horizontal, a H who has no prior knowledge of the h (at least, none that he remembers - she wiped his memory of a v. brief occurrence a few years ago, because she didn't know he knew there were "others") and therefore isn't an utter ass towards her.


The beginning is kindof a prologue - the H and his best buddy are bounty hunters. His best buddy is a cat shifter. They track down a job who skipped bail, all hell breaks loose when a couple of vampires show up, and the h and her hunter teammate show up in the nick of time. She doesn't realize that he and the cat shifter are buddies, the shifter is hurt, so in their efforts to clean up everything, they rearrange memories - something that only partially sticks.


2 years later, he's become a vampire hunter and spots her. His memory rearrangement being dodgy, he assumes she killed his partner. He's a bit startled to discover his partner is now her teammate.


Of course, this being a romance, it quickly devolves to a biblical getting to know her better but... in the meantime, her partner is kidnapped by a former ward of hers.

Eventually the problem child is run to ground and taken care of, but not before she turns the H.


The one thing that does bother me - why does the H's partner NOT ask them what they did with his buddy? Why did he let him think he was dead? Why?????

Rafe and Sheila - Shiloh Walker

3.5-ish. It gets brownie points because the h actually LEFT when the H refused to claim her, and in fact was with another man when the H tracked her down. They're kinda small though because it took him several months to realize she was gone. :/


So Rafe, for reasons we're never clued in on, refuses to claim Sheila, or admit he has feelings for her. So he essentially treats her like...I dunno...a blow up doll maybe? He doesn't acknowledge her or talk to her much if anyone is around, and well, after he came back from a trip and didn't speak to her for several days, she'd had enough. He had the thought that she was just saying that and was more than willing to press his point but the master and others stopped him. So...


The bulk of the story starts 6 months later, when he's finally tracked her down and finds her with another guy. (yep; caught in the act. Perfect.) He doesn't drag his heels for long this time re: claiming her but there's a much older vampire - an evile one - and that one decides to have new guy for a snack. Their paths cross with a couple of his old victims, who just happened to grab the poor guy and turn him - sortof. Fortunately, Rafe does help the guy.


Anyway, the bad guy is taken out, Rafe is now a master and he has a second...or lieutenant...or the new guy. He also shares - once - the h, with the new guy.


The formatting issue wasn't completely absent, but for the most part, someone did pay attention to scene changes and put a few breaks and asterisks in. So...yay?

The Hunters - Interlude - Shiloh Walker

I'm...perplexed. I'm guessing this was a formatting issue but there's a dearth of scene breaks. It's really distracting - you'll be following a scene and without so much as an extra line space to indicate the scene has ended, you're somewhere else.


Beyond that, the nature of this series so far (I've got this one, another one I just started, and 2 after she switched to mainstream publishing) is that the heroes for whatever dumbass reason, refuse to accept the heroines yet at the same time, act like dogs in a manger about her - well, wolf in the second story in this book. Not something I'm overly fond of, to be honest, and if the two mmps I have (that are buried in Mt Doom so not on hand at the moment) have the same theme, that's pretty much it for me as far as this series goes.


There are things I don't get - some factions are immortal, but not all, so how do cross-species relationships work long term?


Also what is with the fascination with butt secks? The first jackass didn't even bother to use lube.


As for the tales themselves...the first was more or less a PWP - it was v. short, consisted of the aforementioned jackass feeling frustrated because his attempts to alienate the h (who, being a were, knew he was her mate) weren't quite working the way he...well, what WAS he thinking? That he could summons her to a meeting and just happen to have his threesome run over? Her reaction wasn't what he anticipated, although why she let him demonstrate his cunning lingual skills after what he'd just been doing, I dunno. Anyway, after he informed her he was sending her on a 2 year holiday, she threw herself at him, and informed him that if she left, she wouldn't be back. You can guess his reaction, particularly when he went looking for her the next evening and she was gone.


The second one... the H was the were and refusing to acknowledge that the h was his mate, although he did bang her a few times. After he informed her he'd never claim her, she informed him she was going to seek a transfer and refused to go for another round. In the meantime, they were attempting to run down a group of bad guys who were attempting to subvert his will. Somewhere along the line, she decided she'd take down the bad guys even if it meant dying, put him under a sleep spell, and blocked everyone from trying to help her. He had decided by then to stop being an idiot so was freaking out until something was done to modify the blocking spell. The day was saved, the bad guys roasted thoroughly, and yep; he staked his claim right up her tailpipe. At least he did use lube :p


I mean; none of the heroines were what I'd call TSTL. The heroes OTOH, needed their arses kicked, hard. And if that's a theme throughout the series... ain't got time for that.

Getting What She Wants - Chris Tanglen, Diana Hunter, S.L. Carpenter

...well, I didn't get what I wanted. In fact, this book fell on its overly spanked ass when it comes to titillation.


It's an anthology, so...

Tale the first features a sex predator who was perfectly willing to pay a hooker to have sex with him, and since she takes money for sex, she can't complain about his proclivities. Only one problem - the h may have been dressed like a hooker, but was v. insulted when he asked her how much. Her spine dissolved in a box of calla lilies and unsatisfied lust, and even though she wasn't asked if she was on-board for a round of BDSM lite, and even though every time he did something she didn't like, she jerked away and demanded to know what he was doing, she still wanted laid bad enough to NOT show him the door.


Tale the second... Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...

What does Gilligan got to do with romance? Oh, nothing much unless that group of castaways was abducted by tentacled aliens, one dork named Gilligan spilled all the female DNA, and now Uranus is populated by 2 million men and less than 50 women. I mean; this had a lot of promise, but the poop humor was strong, the premise, while doable, a bit less than well executed, and the writing really off.
"Not again, seven times is my limit," Jared grumbled under his breath. He slowly awoke and made a smacking sound with his mouth.
"Talk about bad morning breath. I feel like I just ate a cat." He grinned. "Or a pu$$y"


No idea why that bit of dialog was divided into two paragraphs. But that sort of thing is all through the story.


Tale the third...started out like you were reading an overview of your brother or father or someone's romance, with lots of sex, then dwindling sex due to life... then it got weird. The guy decides to spice things up, so gets handcuffs - apparently cursed handcuffs - fails to note that one needs a 4-poster for that sort of thing (although they do make special bondage sheets)... and then they start getting visited once a week by a sex demon (isn't that a succubus?) disguised as a middle aged lady. They reluctantly allow her to give them bondage instructions, which culminates in a meeting with another couple stuck in a rut, and having fun and games while watching...or was it some sort of competition? Not sure. Was too weirded out really.


Do I recommend? How bored are you? You could probably find more interesting things to read on wikipedia TBH.

Currently reading

Sapphire Flames (Hidden Legacy #4)
Ilona Andrews
Prisoner of Love
Tawny Taylor, Michelle M. Pillow, Jaid Black